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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754723">'Til We Fall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldexemption/pseuds/goldexemption'>goldexemption</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Good Parent Severus Snape, Light Angst, Loss of Parent(s), Original Character(s), Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Severus Snape Adopts Harry Potter, Severus Snape is Trying, Severus Snape is also Bad At Feelings, Will Add More Tags as Fic Goes On, baby harry is cute, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 22:55:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754723</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldexemption/pseuds/goldexemption</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div>
  <p>Severus Snape is does not like children - screaming, spoilt brats they are - and that is a <em>fact;</em> one that will never change. No exceptions, no exclusions, no let-offs.</p>
  <p>
    <em>"Please, Dad. Please, pretty please?" Harry's green eyes are large and begging; he knows the exact way that will make Severus' heart - some people say he doesn't have one, but that isn't true - melt.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Severus sighs.</em>
  </p>
  <p>Well, maybe <em>one </em>exception.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>In which Severus learns that maybe family can be found in the most unexpected places.</p>
</div>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter &amp; Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>'Til We Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>heyyy. random idea that popped into my head: i prolly will update sometime. anyways, thanks for clicking on this work and hope u enjoy!! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No matter his personal feelings about the man, no matter that he had made his life <em> hell </em> at school, James Potter did not deserve to die like this. <em> No one </em>did. </p><p>Well, Snape supposed he <em> could </em> think of some people who did: the man—the <em> monster</em>—that had done all this, but that was beside the point. </p><p>He stared at Potter’s dark hair, the wiry frames of his glasses, the glassy cold veil over his hazel eyes. And swallowed. He’d wanted nothing more than to see his tormentor dead, once upon a time, but now… <em> Now </em>… It was not nearly as satisfying as he had thought it would be. </p><p>A strange feeling welled up in his stomach, and he felt cold bile heaving up his throat as he tried to swallow it down. He would mull over the repercussions of this later. Preferably over a glass of Ogden’s Firewhiskey.</p><p>But. Severus swept his cloak up and turned to the stairs. How could he have gotten so side-tracked? He was here only for one person… he hoped desperately he wasn’t too late already. </p><p>
  <em> Lily…  </em>
</p><p>He walked up the stairs slowly; the house was desecrated, destroyed completely. The door was hanging off his hinges still, marks of spell-fire dotting the wall, and Severus drew his cloak closer still as a chill swept through the house. It felt as though the wind itself was mourning, warning him not to go any closer. </p><p><em> She’s dead, she’s dead, they’re </em> all <em> dead</em>—</p><p>Turning the doorknob, he pushed his way into the room he knew held the secrets of what had happened this night. And so he saw her. </p><p>Her body was on the floor, pale and unmoving, because she would never move again. Her red hair laid spawn over the ground; her face was turned to one side. And her lovely, emerald eyes, her vibrant beautiful ones that had once sparked with life and laughter—</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, Sev, look what I found!” she laughs, pulls his hand. “C’mon, you’ll love it!” </em>
</p><p>—Were empty and cold. She was dead, in every sense of the word.</p><p>Severus went numb; it hit him, suddenly. <em> Lily was dead, dead, dead. </em> Forever. He’d never be able to see her smile again, laugh again, turn, grinning at him, a wonderful idea she’d just had sparkling in her eyes— Severus collapsed in front of her body, shoulders heaving with silent, shaking sobs. It was <em> his </em> fault, he had done this to her, his oldest friend, his first friend, he had <em> killed </em>them. </p><p>He had killed <em> her </em>. </p><p>Darkness seemed to be  pressing down on him, suffocating him; he could no longer breathe, just shake with sobs. “<em>I'</em><em>m sorry, Lily… I’m so sorry…” </em> he rasped out. “<em>I</em><em>’m so sorry…"  </em></p><p>It seemed like forever he kneeled there, though it must have been only a few minutes, mourning the loss of Lily, of their friendship. And the last, kindling of a hope that <em> someday </em>he might be able to apologise for what he’d done flickered and died. </p><p>There was no redemption, there was no take-backs, there was only him and the hard, cold knowledge of what he’d done. <em> I killed them, god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry</em>—</p><p>“<em>AaaaAAAAHHHH!</em>” </p><p>A wail. It broke Snape from his reveries of mourning, and he sat up, eyes narrowed, though his pale face was blotchy; his eyes red. <em> What is that? The Dark Lord, or</em>—<em>oh.  </em></p><p>The child. The subject of the prophecy. (“<em>Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seven month dies…” </em>) </p><p>The reason the Dark Lord had come after Lily. </p><p>Snape got up, slowly. He did not want to disturb any of the debris; he peered into the baby’s crib doubtfully. Was the infant really alive? Even after the Dark Lord had tried—and failed, it seemed—to kill it? The child looked like a mini carbon copy of James Potter, down to the hair, the facial expressions, and Severus was about to leave it alone, when—</p><p>The child opened his eyes and stared up at him, and Severus swallowed. Lily’s, bright, beautiful Lily, <em> who was now dead</em>—her eyes were prominent in the child’s face, they looked up at him mournfully, as if blaming him for what had happened… </p><p>So. Now, it seemed, he had two choices: Take the child, or leave him? Take the child now, bring him to a proper caretaker, who would ensure the infant was raised properly—</p><p>Or leave him to the mercy of Dumbledore, whom he did not trust much to make the right decision. </p><p>Severus thought. And thought. And <em> thought</em>. </p><p>He could not leave the child, any more than he could confess undying love to Black, so it was not much of a choice, in the end.  Severus sighed and undid his cloak, to wrap the child in. Potter—<em> Harry </em> , he reminded himself, <em> Potter </em>was for his tormentor, who was now dead—raised his hands up and let out a babble that included the word: “Up!” in there somewhere. Severus sighed and picked the child up, patting him on the back slowly.</p><p>He looked around the room, and Accio’d a number of personal belongings, clothes, and toys into his bag, which was Never-Ending, a gift from Lucius for his twentieth birthday. It was incredibly useful, and he shrunk it after the bag was full. Glancing around the room again to see if he had missed anything, Severus was about to go out the door when he remembered Lily’s body. </p><p>He put the child down gently in his crib, then bent down and closed Lily’s eyes gently. “I’ll make sure—I’ll make sure he’s taken care of,” he whispered. He stood up again, took the child (who was quiet, as if he realized how serious the situation was), and with one last glance, walked out the door, never to return. </p><p>Severus walked out onto the nearest street, and grimaced as the nearby smells of a rubbish lorry drove past him, rattling the road and leaving behind a stubborn <em> stench </em>, a disgusting one that reminded him of his unhappy childhood in Cokeworth. </p><p>Why, in Merlin’s name, had Lily and Potter decided to settle down <em> here</em>, of all places? He was distracted for a moment by that thought before the sounds of what seemed like Muggle machinery startled him out of his thoughts. That was probably Black, or perhaps Dumbledore come to check on the Potters and Lily. </p><p><em> Too little, too late</em>, he did not say, but he certainly <em> thought </em>it. </p><p>He should go. They would undoubtedly be looking for the child soon, and as it was now, Severus could not defend himself, especially with the child in his arms. </p><p>Severus looked down on the child, and realized it had fallen asleep sometime when he was packing everything away. He clutched Harry closer, tighter to his robes before touching his Portkey and activating it, and then they were gone in a whirl of colour and light, leaving the empty street behind them. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Severus staggered out of the Portkey, still tightly holding on to the child, who had somehow, miraculously, managed to sleep through the whole thing. He would have Apparated if he could have, but there were studies that showed the negative effect that had on small children, especially toddlers, so he decided not to risk it. </p><p>The Portkey was to his house in Spinner’s End, to be used in case of emergency, which was becoming more and more likely every day. Even if the Dark Lord was really, truely dead. Because of… because of...</p><p>His mind was once again drawn to the child; the so-called Vanquisher of Voldemort; the Wizarding World would undoubtedly make up an even more ridiculous name. Perhaps… the Boy Who Lived? Boy Who Vanquished…? </p><p>Severus did not know, but he did not waste any more time thinking about it. It was a rather absurd thing to get hung up upon, anyway. </p><p>He swung open the door with his elbow; the wards would acknowledge him as the owner of the house, even if he had not been here in a long time, so there was naught to worry about there. He staggered into the house; the child was heavy, heavier than he would have thought a one and a half year old would be. </p><p>Settling the Never-Ending bag down on the side-table—now he had two hands to carry the boy with—he walked up the stairs and into the singular bedroom. It was gloomy, and the walls smellt like mildew and mold, the wooden door was in need of some oiling, and the window was dusty with years of accumulated dust. </p><p>That… would not do. </p><p>Severus waved his wand as he incanted the household spells his Mother—useless as she was—had taught him as a young child. The windows, with a quick <em> Scourgify </em>, were now spotless; the room, however, was… still not clean, but it was better than it was before. </p><p>He nodded in approval at the room, and then Transfigured a dirty pillow into a crib, for the child. It was crooked, and one of the legs was shorter than the rest, but it looked comfortable, and it was clean. </p><p>Severus gently placed the baby down on the crib, quietly as to not wake it up. A screaming baby was something he was not prepared for, nor wanted to deal with this late at night. The child muttered in its sleep as it was tucked under the blankets.</p><p>(He almost scoffed at the image he made now; Severus Snape, Death Eater, tucking a baby into a crib. As if!) </p><p>He cast a softening spell on the floor around the crib. Just in case the child woke up in the middle of the night and decided he wanted to… crawl around, or something. </p><p>Severus was about to walk down to the living room before pausing. On second thought, he added a spell that would let him know—no matter if he was sleeping, or otherwise—if the child decided to step out of the crib <em> at all </em> . He would leave it there until morning, and then… He would decide what to do <em> then </em>. </p><p>Severus walked down to the living room silently, trying as hard as he could not to make a sound, before feeling stupid and casting, <em> Silentio</em>, onto his feet. There; he could make as much noise as he wanted, now. Severus then collapsed into his sofa, the events of the day having left him spent. The child was in his old room, which would do for now—it wasn’t the best place for Harry to sleep, perhaps, but he was sure the child would survive. </p><p>He nursed his glass of Firewhiskey he’d promised himself he would have earlier in the day - and if that didn’t seem like so long ago, now—and stared into the fire. The flickering flames lashed out like tongues against the fireplace, magically enchanted to never go out, and against his will, Severus was reminded of the child upstairs. Sleeping, unaware that his parents’ lives had just been snuffed out in what was perhaps the cruelest way possible. </p><p>How long, Severus thought, how long until the child would grow to hate him for killing his parents? How long until Harry’s childhood innocence would be wiped away, how long until he would have to see the light dim in the child’s—so like <em> Lily’s</em>—emerald eyes? </p><p>
  <em> Oh, Lily… </em>
</p><p>Severus sunk deeper into his armchair, and at the same time into his memories, which he so rarely allowed himself the pleasure of experiencing again. </p><p>
  <em> ...Lily and himself meeting in the playground; day after day of playing under the tree together; him telling her of magic, her wondrous expression…  </em>
</p><p>Lily, Lily, Lily… <br/>
<br/>
The night was spent drinking his fears away; reminiscing old memories and wishing-hoping-praying that night was not true. That he had not told the Dark Lord the Prophecy at all; the the Dark Lord had not listened. </p><p><em>If only</em>... </p><p>Until, at last, his thoughts were brought back to the child. Onto… </p><p>
  <em> Redemption. </em>
</p><p>He did not deserve it, perhaps, but he would take the chance anyway. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is a new perspective, haven't written Snape before, hope I did well. thanks for reading - leave a kudos or comment if you'd like! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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